Get the Groom Involved!

If your husband-to-be is anything like mine, he has no idea what goes in to wedding planning. Although he always asks how he can help with the process, other than keeping me sane, (which is a huge task!), there's nothing much he can do on his own . If your groom wants to be involved, here are some things he can do to be a part of planning the big day!

1. The D.J and the music! Adam and I went together to pick the D.J. and he was a huge help. He negotiated prices/packages to ensure that we were getting the best deal possible. Also, ask your groom to make a list of songs that he wants to hear at the wedding (tell him to pick about 10 as there is usually only 3 hours for dancing after dinner and you have to think of yourself and your guests as well).

2. The tux! Your groom's tux and those of the groomsmen are important to the overall wedding party attire flow of the day. The boys also have to be comfortable in their clothes, so have the groom find and try-on some options that he likes. You should be there if you can because when we went I found out that Adam liked all white suits...and that just wasn't going to be a good thing! We found ways to tie in his interests though and ended up with a lovely, comfortable tux for him and his men.

3. The Marriage License! This is something he can do on his own. It's simple and non-negotiable. Have him pick it up or download it. Adam really felt like he had accomplished something great when he completed this task and it was very cute.

4. Run Errands! Although this is not their favorite thing to do, they still feel like they've contributed when they do so. For instance, when wedding gifts start arriving for you and need to be picked up from the place that you are registered at, tell the groom to go get it!

5. The Wedding Band! The groom needs to be as happy with his band as you are with yours. Tell him to look on-line or browse jewellery stores for styles that he likes. He may want some help picking the final design out, but don't pick his style for him...you want him to keep the ring on, don't you? Adam and I went to a couple different places and although our styles are different, they are made of the same material so that they look somewhat similar.

6. The Food! This was Adam's favorite part, (go figure). Go to your venue closer to the wedding day and try several different options. It's important to get his perspective on this piece as he may be speaking on behalf of a lot of men on the wedding day! Food is the thing that stands out most to Adam from weddings that we've been to...so I assume that's the same for a lot of guys!

7. Pictures! Your photographer will likely ask you who you 100% need pics of on the wedding day, so ask your groom to make a small list of these people. I gave Adam the guest list to look at so he could list everyone he wanted.

8. Wedding Party Pairs! Together, go over the groomsmen and bridesmaids to come up with the appropriate pairings of the day. We had fun with this part and we're eager to see what comes of it!!!

9. The Master of Ceremonies! This should be someone that you both feel a connection to, unless one of you has a particularily special person in mind and the other doesn't! Adam had a lot of input on this piece and we settled on a good friend of his who is very close to both of us now. Adam had a hard time picking groomsmen as he wanted more than reasonable (26!)...so he thought it would be nice to pick one of those guys who didn't 'make the cut' as Adam puts it.

10. Personal Grooming! It's important for him to feel good that day...although he may not know it, feeling good has a lot to do with looking good that day (all eyes are on the two of you!). Ask him what some things are he would like to have done that he wouldn't usually do to get prepared. This could be something simple like getting a foam shave and/or a manicure. In our case, Adam decided it was finally time to return to the dentist for a cleaning!

Words of Advice for the Traditional Wedding-Planner Beginner!

There is no 'Wedding-Planning for Dummies' instruction guide...from one bride to another - here are my top 6 recommendations for you to follow when decision making regarding your traditional big day!

1. Draw up a rough guest list of 'must be there' people - this will give you a rough idea of the number of guests to attend your wedding, (don't forget that all single or un-married adults count for two as you invite them plus their guest!)....the guest list is the single most important part as all other pieces flow from there. When you've settled on a guest list, run it by your parents and in-laws to see of any other necessary additions on their end!

2. The budget is influenced by the guest list, but shouldn't be the ultimate decsion-maker regarding who you invite. The guests are so essential to your day - don't leave anyone important out if you can't afford to have them there...just think of other alternatives to stay within budget. You can have a perfect, beautiful day on a budget. Come up with an affordable number...don't break the bank as after the day is over you want to enjoy being together instead of worrying about how to pay off wedding debts! There are a lot of little things that you cannot budget for, so leave a reserve amount in your budget for "other wedding expenses".

3. The venue for the day is such an important element as nothing else can be accomplished until you have those items settled. The venue dictates the tone of the wedding...everything from location, (will guests need hotel rooms?), to colour scheme. This all may seem nuts right now, but you'll soon learn how important these details are! The venue can consist of multiple sites as well, so keep distances between these sites in mind, (such as church and reception hall).

4. THINK ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PARTY IN DEPTH! First, tell your spouse not to ask people right away (aside from the obvious siblings) to be in his/her wedding party as their numbers help determine yours (and if they prematurely ask people there's no diplomatic way to retract their role...trust me!). These people will be in your pictures forever and in the memories of your wedding forever...think long and hard about who you want to remember! Think also of friends/family that will be able or willing to help out when you need an extra hand...believe me...you'll need some help!

5. Think about a date! People will ask you constantly when the day is and it can get pretty annoying (although it's sweet that people care!). Think about seasons of choice as the cost of your wedding will fluctuate accordingly. Typically, venues and vendors will have high-season and low-season rates.

6. Don't let anyone influence your decision-making process other than your soon-to-be spouse! The day should reflect the two of you and your personalities...trust me, everyone has an opinion on how your day should look!